Waiting for permission

Is there a brave choice you can make in the next hour?

The phenomenal Netflix series "Baby Reindeer" first captured audiences' imaginations as a one-person show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2019.

As I near the conclusion of this captivating series, I am continually reminded of the journey I am on—crafting my own one-person show that pushes the limits of what live performance can be. This show not only entertains but also inspires, reaffirming my commitment to innovating within the theatrical space.

But here's the crux of my journey: I embarked on this creative path many years ago, despite the skepticism. A few voices, though well-intentioned, expressed doubts. "Hmm...I don't think that'll work," they said. Their comments were mild, yet they lodged in my mind, sowing seeds of uncertainty about my vision.

Since then, I've encountered several works similar in style and tone to my own, each breaking new ground. Each time, a voice within me whispered, "You were right all along." Despite this, I struggled to trust in my vision.

I find myself waiting for permission.

Even now, as I grapple with how to conclude my solo musical, I'm still waiting—hoping for an audience, a director, someone to guide me. Can anyone help?

Deep down, a voice murmurs: there is no permission, let yourself go.

Life is about taking action. With age and experience, you learn that no one will act on your behalf. Waiting for permission is a trap.

Yes, acting alone is risky. There's no one else to blame if things go awry. But ultimately, what's at risk? Only your ego, which, while challenging to confront, isn't insurmountable.

Embracing this freedom can create a shield, layer by layer. Each act of moving forward without waiting for permission strengthens the barrier between your creative spirit and your ego, protecting your artistic integrity while allowing your true voice to flourish.

Life is a series of actions and as you grow older and hopefully wiser, you learn that no one is going to take action for you. 

Embracing this path carries risks.

When you act alone, there’s no one else to shoulder the blame if things don't pan out as planned.

But truly, that's irrelevant. The only thing you're risking is your ego, which might be the most biggest challenge you face.

Liberation comes from not waiting for permission and can be transformative. Each small act of stepping forward without seeking approval builds upon the last. This accumulation of actions forms a protective layer around your creative spirit, insulating it from your ego and allowing your true artistic potential to emerge unscathed.

Every day at 3:05 PM, my phone prompts me with a question: “Is there a brave choice you can make in the next hour?”

And every time, my response is affirmative. Yes, there is.

And so, I take that step.

And listen to myself.

Without waiting for permission.