Just like everyone else I get scared sh*tless when trying something new. I was hoping that my early 40's would bring about a new sense of security and I could launch myself into whatever it is I'm looking for. To be Oprah?
Okay, I'll say it: I want to be the Oprah of the world wide webs. Is that too much to ask people? But I'm sure Oprah gets scared. Call me Oprah, I'll totally talk you through it. Here are seven bothersome issues I think about when starting a new venture, which because I'm sometimes mentally off my rocker happens each time I get a new idea-that's about 100 a day. Ugh, that's a lot of mental energy. I'm tired of myself already. Okay, here we go.
1. I think of all the people waiting for me to fail. I know. Why am I even thinking that people are thinking of me? They're not. They are literally too busy worrying about their own shi*t while I spin out about what they're thinking of little ol' me.
2. I'm afraid I'm not perceived as an authority figure on the subject. Usually that one is true. I'm not an authority figure on most of the things I try. But for fricks sake you guys, we literally have a reality television/realtor/porn star lover who likes to be spanked by someone other than his wife with a Forbes magazine in the Oval Office. (Do you capitalize Oval and Office?- too lazy to look that up). Why am I worried about being perceived as an expert on most subjects when I could probably run the presidency better? Come on, you could too. The truth is most people are making it up and they learn along the way becoming authority figures as they work. (Okay- not astronaut's and those types of smarties but you get what I mean). Also- I just had to look up how to spell astronaut. Tragic.
3. I think that the people on Facebook are the only people I'll ever reach. Why do I do that? And why does that bother me? I feel like I'm never going to be able to expand past my reach. It scares me to think that this bubble I've created around me of people who look at my daily goings on will be the only people that ever really care what I have to say. At the same time I also worried that the people in this bubble don't care about what I have to say. How the F does that make sense? I'm basically damned if I do and damned if I don't and then make a u-turn to start again at #1. Most people are too busy worrying about if their son is looking at naked girlz on the internet. Oh, just me? And yes, he spelled it girlz with a Z. That was a while ago though- which is even further embarrassing because it was a while ago. Don't judge me. It'll happen to you too.
4. I'm worried that I'm too old. What?! But 40 is the new 30! You know what? Someone who was 60 said that, obviously. I feel like I'm running out of time to try new things. And don't send me that article about all the celebrity people who "made it" after they were 40. This is my time to talk about my real fears (and maybe yours), and I'm going to lay down and roll around in them. I'll tell you how I combat my fears in the next post to make us all feel better.
5. I'm worried about the comments I'll receive from the haters. We all know when you become successful you get hate comments. I don't even like having a fight with a neighbor, it makes me so uncomfortable. How will I feel when someone says I've got cellulite on my face? Okay you got me- I stole that line from Amy Schumer. I wish I had her career although I don't really want to talk about my vagina that much. Also, she's not even 40 yet. Jesus, I'm screwed.
6. I'm worried I'll run out of money. Or not make enough money, worried it'll take me five years to make money, not because we don't have enough money but because I have a real problem with not staying on budget and thinking too impulsively. Not like, "I have to have this Prada purse", something I'll never understand you guys. Why would I want to spend money on a $2000 purse when I could buy 3 new sweatshirts, two pillows, a lamp, some sunglasses, organic pretzels because I'm starving, a new i-phone cover, and new shoes that are accidentally a size too small at Target that I forget to return because I'm disorganized? I mean come on.
7. And last but not least, why me? Is my ego be so big that I think I should have something to say that others will benefit from? Wouldn't it be so much easier to stay in the corner with my new Target sweatshirt that says "Good Vibes Only" pissed off that I'm afraid of my own shadow?
God, I'm so depressed right now. And starving. I've literally made myself hungry getting stressed by all that I've written down here. I'm gonna go have some eggs and a 60 calorie piece of toast, get my sh*t together and I'll combat all the fear with a 7 ideas to get past this doom and gloom. Don't worry, the ego-centric Molly will be back in a flash. See you soon.
I did get it together and made my list of 7 tools I use to combat the issues that scare me. I'm good at that...you know, making myself get all scared and then boom I shake it out of me and get my grit together and bam bam bam, kill those freakin' monsters. It'll make all of us feel better from this doom and gloom.